Friends, Chefs, Typhoon 8 and Xi'an

I guess this will be my final entry for Ramadhan. It has been an eventful and exciting month for me, thanks to the present company of Bard, Linda, Suaimi, Azam and of course Whaisee and Karen. Many thanks to this guys and gals for filling my days and evenings with joy and laughter and of course, abundance of food!!

Despite being away from home, the buka puasa spread here has been lavish this year compared to last year, where I survived on Kit kat on most days. Thanks to Bard, whom I met, at the end of Ramadhan last year….. Since then, I have never been able to reduce to my ideal weight of below 50kg. Aisey…..

This Ramadhan, anything that I wanted to eat, I managed to get. Of course I contributed to my share of cooking as well but it was no trouble at all…….it was a pleasure to cook when you have your close buddies to share and enjoy the food with.

But I should give the award for most Hardworking Chef should go to Bard for cooking Chili Crab for our sahur and the most Innovative Chef goes to Linda for her Fried rice with Chicken Sausage and Ikan Billis. Yeah, sounds odd I know....I would never have thought of it mixing those 2 items together but it was delicious!! Fusion cuisine indeed…

Yesterday we had the 3rd typhoon that reached level 8 for this year. The typhoon is only a ‘look-forward to’ event when it reaches the Gale Storm Warning Typhoon Level 8 category coz that’s when offices and schools close. The level 8 was declared at 4pm yesterday and we get to leave office early. Hurrah!!!!

Spent the evening with Linda watching a thriller movie amidst our screaming. After that we ended up talking till wee hours of the morning. We were wishing that the level 8 will be enforced until today (and get another day holiday) but much to our disappointments, the storm level was downgraded from 8 to 5 and 3….That means back to office….that sulks…

I’m all bleary eyed and groggy now with only couple of hours of sleep in between. I bet Linda must be feeling the same too. But it was a pleasant evening getting to know each other better….

Incidentally, today is one of those hectic pre-event preparation activities. I’ll be starting my Eid leave from Monday, going home to Msia for the whole week (cuti Raya, yeh!!!!) and after that I will be off directly to Xi’an in China for the week-long Oncology Summit. That means I have to complete all my tasks before the end of this week!

Compared to my other trips previously, this time I am looking forward to this trip because Xi’an is the city of the famous Terracotta soldiers which I have read so much about and it is also known in the olden days as ‘Serambi Mekah; (if I am not mistaken) and since this is a predominatly Islamic city, I will not have any problems getting halal food!!

That is one of the best things about this trip because this time I don’t have to restrict myself to only seafood or vegetables for a whole week long. But the best thing is having Linda and Bard joining me after the meeting. We will have a short holiday together. Hurrah!!!

Meanwhile, in between my hundreds jaw stretching exercise (yawns) today…..I’m gonna be that super cool, efficient, experienced, ‘don’t panic! I have everything under control’ confident conference manager…………..Ha ha!!

My zakat fitrah

For the first time ever in my life I PAID my own zakat fitrah. What an accomplished feelings!

Yeah, I’m sure my friends are rolling their eyes when reading this…"Cici is being her melodramatic self again".

Of course! I can’t help this elations!!! I have accomplished something!!!

Zakat fitrah, for the benefit of my non-moslem friends means….

Zakat al Fitr is an obligatory charity on every Muslim at the end of the month of Ramadan. The purpose of Zakat al-Fitr is to purify the one who has fasted from any type of indecent act or speech he might have committed while fasting. It also helps the poor and the needy.
(islam.com)

…Zakat is neither a TAX or a CHARITY. It is, in fact a combination of the two - a welfare and social tax for charity, for the needy in society. It is an amount in kind or coin which every Muslim of means must distribute among the deserving, every year. (makhdoon.pacific.net.sg)

Since I started working, I never gave thoughts about it because this has been taken care of by my ever-providing parents. During each raya, my dad will ask me if I have paid my zakat and when I gave my mock-surprised response of “oh…really…do I have to?”

His standard reply will be…”hmmmm…you always forget…never mind, I have already paid for you this year…”

And I will reply sheepishly “he,he…thanks Pak”.

That script has been repeated over the years......

This year, I will surprise him with my gleeful announcement of “yes Pak, I am pleased to inform you that I have taken stock of my personal responsibility and have paid the required zakat fitrah in Hong Kong”.

I can’t wait to see his reaction.

This event (paying the zakat) took place last night during the weekly breaking fast gathering at the Consulate building in Wanchai. Every Saturday, during the month of Ramadhan, the Consulate holds a majlis berbuka puasa (breaking fast function) and terawikh prayer. This is the time to meet other Malaysian moslems in HK. I didn’t know about this last year (before I met other Malaysian moslems) but this year I get to attend and meet and socialize with others, not only the consulate staff but university students and other professionals working here.

After the terawikh prayer, we were informed that the zakat payment can be made with the attending ustaz. My friends decided to pay and I decided, why not? I should do it too and not depend on my dad to pay….and so I did….

You have to record your name and the amount you wish to pay in a form provided. Then you have to declare your ‘niat’ in Arabic (the ustaz reads out and you follow) and after that he reads a short doa’. It didn’t take long, maybe just a minute per person.

That accomplished feelings after the deed has been done is full of thankful feelings (to God) for I am able to contribute my part in the 3rd principal of Islam.

Priceless experience….. Alhamdulillah…..

The verses were too long and I lost my concentration…

Alhamdulillah…..

Compared to previous years, this year I am taking some serious efforts to bring myself closer to my Creator. Thank you also to the close friends that I have here who are great influence to me. I have also shocked (good shock, not bad shock) my parents when I voluntarily wanted to follow them to terawikh prayer!

To be part of a congregational prayer….. It is not proper for me to say that it was ‘fun’ but it was very pleasant and rewarding going there during the one week I was home.

And so, with this new resolve, I return to HK, full of motivations to continue nightly ‘terawikh’ prayer as much as I could this Ramadhan. There is a Pakistani mosque nearby, so it is very convenient plus I have my close friends to go along with.

Oh! How different the prayer here compared to the one at my dad’s surau back home. At the surau back home, the reading was short and sweet. It was pleasant and no hardship at all. Although the Imam reads one juzuk per night, the reading have been summarised, hence shorter reading.

In the mosque over here, the Iman gives full reading of not one but two juzuk (chapters) each night! Such loooooooonnnnnnngggggggg verses…..

Long enough for me to lose my concentration and piousness….
Long enough for my mind to wonder around …….Thinking about my life, family, childhood days, schooling days, college and uni days……….
Indeed it was moments of deep contemplations….. just about everything lah!

I am ashamed to admit that in this state of deep contemplations, my over-active mind not only

covers serious matters but also mundane and non-religious-spiritual matters…...

Not only did I reflect on the state of my life (or the lack of it) but also, among others……

……about the state of my finances (what can I give up to get that TagHeuer watch in time for my birthday this year),
……should I or should I not request for an increase in my credit card limit?
……can I afford to buy a house close to my sibling’s in Bukit Kiara?
…….my holiday plans for next year (do I have enough to go to Tokyo and still take my mom to Holland to see the tulips bloom),
…….the menu for berbuka puasa the next day,
…….how many calories I have consumed during the buka puasa,

.........when do I start that belly-dancing class
……endless thoughts…………..

And so the battle goes...., every night, I will go to this prayer at the mosque praying that I will be able to give my full concentration to bertaqwa and I failed the ‘CONCENTRATION’ test.

But in my justification.......... I suppose those contemplations are indeed parts of my taqwa to God. Can't you see it that way? Okay, minus those worldly and materialistic things of course!

Most importantly, ‘why am I here now’ kind of questions and similar issues…..ultimately, reflection on my sins (big ones and small ones), how lucky I am to be alive and still have time to repent (instead of ‘mati katak’ in the middle of one of those crazy pursuits, back in the old days....).

What can be counted as my 'taqwa' (I think) would be those thoughts about my actions, my thoughts and conducts……….whatever I have done, be it wrong or right, why I do I get hurt, what went wrong……how will it end?

That must be hikmah and message in all these incidents….in happiness and sadness. There is a reason for everything….I just have to ponder and reflect and be thankful….…..

I have had been blessed all my life. Despite my constant complaints, winging and whining, I have not experienced real hardship in this life. I should be thankful to everything God has granted me

And so, I pray for the safely, good health, long life and prosperity of my love ones and my own welfare………and to world peace.

Piousness and Filial Piety, that is what I aim to be…….. InsyaAllah….

Self-righteous and downtrodden

"Why did you have to sound so self-righteous in your blog? And what's this about downtrodden?"

That came from a close critic......... Yes, the person has a point. I guess one of the main reasons when I started here was to express my thoughts....and at that moment in time....I was feeling self-righteous and downtrodden. At that time I believed that I have the right to feel self-righteous and downtrodden....

But now I am feeling ambivalent towards the whole thing. Yeah, I was hurt emotionally....time heals....but I will not go around with a big chip on my shoulder. It's not that I haven't hurt other feelings before....maybe this is the come-uppence? What goes around shall go around.....Whatever it is, I have learnt my lesson. I will choose my friends with proper care....

I have let down some hopes and have hurt some feelings....... if I could undo those things that I did, I would have. But I would still have to hurt them (I'm very, very sorry) for I could not fulfill the hopes that they have for me. But I WOULD HAVE dealt with it in a more matured way...

I have been lucky to be forgiven. And till today, I truly value that friendship with certain individuals. I am thankful that I remain close with this people till today. Even though we are oceans apart and in different timezones ...I know they could be reachable anytime for a shoulder to cry on........They have accepted me the way I am, fault and all. For these dear, dear friends....thanks so much.

I have since removed 'downtrodden' from my profile. Thank you for reminding me, my dear. I wannabe a better friend....

I want to be a mommy!

A close friend recently informed me that the reason she came to HK is to mend a broken heart. I was flabbergasted. I thought her reason for coming to HK is for career advancement and to be a powerful, successful, corporate raiding career woman. Her response was,

“Career woman? What career?? I just want to be a mommy!”
Blimey….these’s another serious wannabe here :)

I was flabbergasted! In my eyes she is the model for independent, successful, confident single woman. But all she ever wants to be is a mommy…..who would have thought?

I just wannabe a tai-tai but never thought of being a mom. That is such a big step! I can’t even find a suitable egg donor to make me a mom……And I can’t even take care of myself, let alone take care of my kid. Scary thoughts!! I’ll cross the bridge when I’m there…..

Oh well….sometimes we have to make the most out of the situation we are in. Most of the times (for me, that is), work is a means of escapism. Make that best of it. Other avenues in life may not be progressing as well as it should be, but where work is concerned, when you give it a full throttle, you will move ahead. Not to say that I love my work but it’s a means to an end.

I’m just bidding my time till I become a tai-tai. I’m not much of a women’s lib advocator. If somebody wants to take care of me and pay my bills, please, please by all means please do so...

I will be most graciously honoured, my lord (me, acting coy and batting my eyelashes).

But meanwhile……….. I have my work to content with.

With work I get my pay
With my pay I get my Prada
With my Prada……I’ll be happy and gay........Hurrah!

Dignity

"….It’s really been a pleasure to work with you. You always conduct yourself with such dignity and I’ll try to follow that example."

That was a farewell message sent by a dear friend who has just gone back to his homeland. Gosh! Me?? Dignity?? Unbelievable!!! But it really did lift my spirit to no end. This is especially so, since this came from a fellow colleague whom I am very fond of and respect very much.

Who doesn’t like compliments? Everybody basks in the glow of flattery or compliments, I am one of them.

We have worked together on several projects and faced several ‘confrontational’ incidents with the people we worked with. I hate scenes, really detest it, maybe because I have been brought up around some individuals who strive for scenes, such drama queen and king they are (till today but thanks God not as bad as before) and I always remind myself do not make any scenes as long as I could control myself. And because of that I always try to control my anger or outbursts (yeah…right!). I have slipped on a few occasions...I'm only human after all :)-

It feels good when other people notice my ‘cool and collected’ self (okay my dear friends have my permission to throw up now) and even more so, want to follow my example! Can you believe that? Can’t help it if I am full of myself eh? I AM A ROLE MODEL!

Is this what ‘dignity’ is all about? Keeping quiet when baited, remain calm, keep cool, unruffled? Maybe….

In Wikipedia, its linked with pride, self-respect, self-esteem ….

How does it differ from ego then? I guess ego is the unwillingness to back-down, not giving-in even if you know you are wrong…… but if you have dignity, you will let it go, be civil about it and acknowledge the person or situation even if he/she has acted like an idiot (I could think of more stronger words but I want to maintain my dignity). Well, this is just my opinion, others may think otherwise.

Come to think of it, I do have my ego too, but that’s more like anger, in the heat of the moment. Sometimes I want to be mean, nasty, horrid, cruel and evil but too much work and effort!

I want to hold on to the anger when my trust has been betrayed. If the person close to you didn't even have the decency to be honest with you and you have to hear this from others? I thought we were friends but obviously both of us have different idea of ‘friendship’.

Oh well, let it be……

Sometimes it is our own insecurity that made us mean and nasty to others. Is it not?

This is so debatable….a dear friend is known for his mean and nastiness but he has a very kind heart and has proven on more than one occasions to be a true friend. So, who am I to judge others?

I just want to be comfortable with my close ones, be nice to people (as long as they don’t hurt me), maintain world peace (I so love this phrase) and keep my dignity…….

Epilogue, The Beginning (March 2007)

An email I rcvd from a dear friend, in response to my first update from Hong Kong:

“ HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA me tried very hard to not laugh out loud reading this in me cubicle. sick la u :P so so so any cute guys yet?”

On 3/19/07, Yus <com> wrote:

My dearest friends, I missed you all!!!! I wish to share with you my chronology if events since my journey here yesterday. Hope this will make you all smile and think of me….. I miss you all!!! Waaaa!!!!!!!! L L L

Chronology of events:

Sunday,19 March 2007
10.00 am – Yus opended her bedroom door, bags packed and locked, ready to go…..went downstairs, had her last plate of home-fried nasi goreng

10.15 am – Last visitor came to say goodbye, got angpow in HK dollars. Yus very happy!!
10.40 am - Yus went round the house, final goodbye to her bed, room & toilet
10.45 am – Yus's dad shouted from downstairs, "Cici!!! dah lambat!!!! You are going to miss the plane!!!!"

11.30 am – Yus, dad, mom, youngest brother (he just arrived last nite, without his wife & baby) arrived KLIA. Yeah, all these people wanted to send Yus to airport. Oh, maid followed too.
Eldest brother and family already waited at airport.. Yus felt like she's going to Mekah for Haji instead of to HKG.
- Second brother cannot come coz his son is in hospital but he and family called later to say final goodbye (actually that was the 3rd goodbye call, after last nite and in the morning).
11.50 am – Flight and baggage check-in went smoothly. Girl at CX counter very nice, did not charged extra for the excess luggage. Yus mom took down her name, she wanted to send TQ note to her.
12.00 noon - Yus had her last bite of 'halal' Big Mac together with family. Big brother gave more angpow of HK Dollars. Yus very very happy…..:)

1.00 pm – Yus said goodbaye to family. Tears were shed, started by eldest sister in law, followed by mom and maid. Yus can still control not crying but broke down when her eldest nephew said, "bye aunty, I'm gonna miss you"…Waaa!!!!!! (Airport drama scene unfold…). People looking….. Quite embarrassing….

1.15 pm – Yus whizz past the satellite building. Gosh!! MNG already opened in KLIA Satellite Building!! Damm, no time to shop coz got to board the place at 1.20pm. Oh well, blessing in disguise….next time…
1.30 pm – Yus got the her first jolt of Hongky accent, when she heard the steward going around the cabin and asked ", BRANket, BRANKET for you?, Do you want BRANKET??"
(BRANket = BLANket)

5.35 pm – CX 722 landed safely. Immigration clearance went smoothly, with no complicated questions.
6.50 pm – Arrived Wharney hotel. About 5 minutes walk from office only.
7.30 pm – Yus took a stroll outside her hotel. Gosh its cold!!! Yus thought it would be warmer but its 19degrees C.
Sweaters and thermal wear were not packed. Looks like Yus has to shop for warm clothing. Aisey… can get sick like this laaaa, have to go and buy some NEW sweaters/ jumpers (an excuse actually....hehehe)…..….
Yus remembered that there is a cheap clothes shop near the office, could take a walk there maybe can find something nice and cheap. But the shop closed, so Yus jalan jalan….. suddenly, then she saw something that made her eyes opened wide wide and she smiled to herself. She bet even WaiKin does not know this place…… it's a Factory outlet selling Cashmere items!!!!!! Yeah baby, yeah baby!!!!!!!!! Yus sooo happy!!! Its soo near somemore, don't have to take the train to Causeway Bay.

9.00 pm – Yus walked back to hotel with a small plastic bag in her hand (shop a bit only, not much). On way back from hotel, she saw 2 new kebab shops opposite hotel. Previously, there was only 1.
Now got 3 halal shops!! WOW!!! You all would not know the significance of this but that means dinner venues for the next 3 nights have already been decided! Yus getting happier J J J

Monday, 19 March

8.50 am – Yus walked in Dah Sing building. Suddenly, DAMMM! Yus forgotten which floor the office is. The door-women did not understand Yus’s question, luckily there is a directory board. 30 th floor. Okay, here I come!
- But so many people lining up in lobby, got fire drill early morning ka?? Oh no, not like that, actually the people were queing for the lift…. Very organized, this Hongkies….

8.55 am – reached the office. Rang the bell. Greeted by Betty, Yus’s new boss. Was taken around to meet whoever was there this morning. Actually not many since Tanya is not around (the MD), so a lot of people came late. But saw CL, he hugged Yus like greeting old friend only (surprise!)
- Met Lobert (Robert), he looks very matured ! But my my…..beautiful eyes….
- Saw Jamie, his hair cut reminded Yus of the Pusat Serenti inmates (exactly alike!)

9.00 AM – Yus was shown to her desk. URGHHHHH, very messy and dusty. This Yus cannot tahan. (She got Zebrina's desk which has been vacated for quite sometime).
Aiyaaahhh, why did I leave the LYSOL Lemon Scented Anti-bacterial Spray in KL!!! Should have brought it along with me!!!!!!!

12.30 noon – Lunch with Betty and Sam (Conference team).
Yus's prayer to her God, "Dear Lord, please forgive me… I may have to partake some dubious food items and could be 'haram' in nature….Amen"
----------------------------------------------

Well, that was how I started my day here. The old files and "Jesus Luvvs Me" mouse pad have been transferred to an empty desk behind me (that already looks like a dumping ground. So I piled more old files there, he he he) If I am free tomorrow, I will kemas that place pulak. Its an eyesore!

The keyboard is soooo dirty!! Its FILTHY!!!!! Got food stain and food crumbs!!!! Eeeuuuu!!!!! , I am really am dying to get those anti-bacterial spray today. Have nearly finished half a box of tissue. I don't even want to touch the drawer until I can get those spray!!!!

I miss my clean, germ free desk in MTMKL! It could get messy but I know its clean.

But most of all, I miss you all!!!!!
Anne Andrew, I miss your kindness and gentleness. You always look serene whenever the occasion;
Andrew, For as long there is a man like you, I will not give up looking for my own man;
Anne Michael, you are young and new but I like you for your bluntness and frankness;
Jessica, although you can be garang outside but I know you are kind and loving inside. I will miss your noises;
Vijaya, there is no mentor, boss, and friends like you…. Who will I look for advice now????
WaiKin, words failed to describe how I feel for you (in the most unlesbian way of course!). Besides, if you remember, I have already pledged my 7 generations to you.
Ho Hui, you will always be me guardian angel where looking young and hip is concerned. I will always look up to you for 'looking hip' advise. Please also remind me if I ever revert to my 'age' mentality and behavior (like washing the toilet on the morning of my departure, when I should be doing something else more important)
Wen Fen, your constant sadness and sorrow have always brightened up my days. Coz I know, there are other sad people than me. I luv you for being you, don't change….and FOR GOODNES SAKE, CHEER UP!!!!
Lots of loving feeling to each and everyone of you,
Yus (March 2007)

Okay...where do I start? I'm not sure what to write, sometimes there are too many to jot down, or should I say to type...but what should be written and what shouldn't?
What is personal and what is not?? And should I write using names or not???
Can I bitch about things/people that I don't like?????
Endless questions......

One thing that I know is that I like to record and and i'll email my 'updates' or personal stories to my close ones and they always tell me, "start your blog la....". And that was nearly 2 years ago, since I arrived here in HKG. Jess, Wenfen, Anne, Poa, and now Bard.....too many fans...hahaha...so I better make an effort. So this is for your reading pleasure my dear friends. Thank your for your encouragements. Well...here I am!

Guess there is a turning point in everyone's life and mine started since I arrived here....the New York of the East....or sooo they said. In my first description to my friends back home upon my arrival I wrote, "imagine Petaling Street 100 times more bigger and with hundred times more people!".

That's what I call Hong Kong.....land of shoebox sized apartments...oh well, only if you are in the middle income group like yours truly....I was resigned to living in one but I have been lucky. Managed to get another friends who earns more than me and the rest like they say...is history. But it won't be for much longer but I shall deal with that when the time comes (which will be by mid next year). Then it's back to another hunt for a confortable shoe-box size dwelling fro me. Okay, that's another story.

I guess this will be my personal journal, my memoirs of my ups and downs since being here, the people I have met who I have befriended and also un-befriended. It's soo funny, within this year I have met so many colurful characters which reminds me of the kindergarden years (the 'my friends' and 'not-my-friend' anymore) saga.

I can't begin to tell how funny and sad this year has been... such a turning point in my life...I have never met so many 'friends' of my same race, not even back home in Msia (very much to the amusement of my close friends and family). Even since schooling days, I have always been to schools where malay is the minority, except in one state but that was only for a few months and I loathed every minute of it but I did get one or two close friends eventually.

Oh well....now I really know how to 'bermasyarakat' with my own race, of all places, in Hong Kong!! Guess I have always been a liberal outsider but now I am a little bit more experienced. I am proud to say that I have experienced the melayu conflicts and dramas.......its laughable...sad but true....

But I shall not go into the details of it, too personal nor do I want to dwell on it. What passed , has passed, like I always say...."its water under the bridge". No more negative thoughts........whoever have wrong me, past and present.....it's over, done with. Forgive and forgotten? Errr, those are different matters...I am a scorpoin after all!

Perhaps its the holiness of the month, we are in the midst of blessed Ramadhan, hence the holier than thou attitude....maybe in few weeks time I change again??? Who knows? I am a woman afterall, that's our perogative.

But I want to be a better person/ daughter/ sister/ friend/ colleague/ submordinate/ superior, a better malay, eventually a better moslem. Hencefourth, I shall work at this new resolution. InsyaAllah.....

Hence the title of this blog 'Wannabee'........

Happy reading my friends............